Life is all about who you should be! Right?
So often we hear what we should be in our families, with our significant other, with our friends, in our work place, among other areas of our lives. I named this blog ironically because it isn’t about who you should be, but rather who you are that truly makes a difference. Authenticity is the quality of being genuine or real. When we try to live up to what we “should be”, we sometimes lose touch with who are are at our core.
There are many people who often bend and shape in different roles of their life. Whether it be work, friends, significant others, or family, I am sure we can all relate to one area. We put on these “masks” of who we believe other people want us to be, who we think we should be, and what we believe others want from us. We spend our life trying to fit into these unattainable expectations or we turn our cheek and become angry that these kinds of expectations exist.
The concept of an authentic-self is built on who we are at our core. My latest blog, “3 Ways to Increase the Understanding of ‘Self’”, enlightens people in ways that they can start exploring the person they are within the context of their lives. It can help reveal some of the experiences and circumstances that may have had an impact on us as we developed early in life and how our experiences and circumstances created and continue to create our personal world. We create defenses that help protect and hide parts of ourselves that we fear being exposed in the unforgiving nature of the world. Peeling back the layers of the who we are through each experience, relationship, and circumstance helps us see the core of who we are beneath the debris in our world.
The authentic-self is often hidden because there is a fear about facing what others think of who we are. There is a fear that, if we are authentic, people will not see us as “good enough” in their world. There is no miracle cure for facing the judgments that other people have held against us. It is about learning to be at peace with who we are at our core, and not falling victim to other people’s judgments. We must learn to build a strong sense of identity in self-love and resilience.
Authentic living is a process in which we must come to peace with who we truly are by learning to accept things others don’t see as “fitting in” and by better knowing and understanding ourselves at a deeper level. This first step is a long process and creating self-awareness in areas of our life can be difficult. When moving toward authentic living it is very important to consider the following aspects of yourself to better understand and reach the core of who you are:
- Know how your history impacts you
- Understand your defenses
- Know your mind and body
- Start with people you trust
- Start small and work big
Each of these aspects will maximize your growth authentically. We sometimes may need a little more support in figuring out the whole concept of authenticity, and how it is safe to grow without allowing others to determine our worth. Choosing to live authentically does not mean that we are perfect or we live a life better than others. Authenticity is about being real and accepting parts of us for what that are: not perfect. In a perfectionistic driven society, it is scary to admit that we are not perfect and that our lives are messy. Living an authentic life allows us to: address what is happening in the moment, be genuine, put away the masks that we live behind, connect with people on a deeper level, and strengthen our identity in who we are at our core.
If you are ready to start living an authentic life that allows you to be more free, more empowered, and more certain of who you are then contact me. I hold a non-judgmental space to help you navigate through the process of living a more connected and heartfelt life. Take the step toward freedom in who you are and learn the peace that comes in that freedom.