Vulnerability-Fear of Being “Seen”
One of the scariest things we can do is put ourselves out there emotionally for others to see into the depths of our souls. We are often so good at making sure that we guarded and protected from the judgement and hurt of others. Then there are those times that we think it is safe to open up and then we are let down and wounded to our core. We take the broken pieces and then we build up our wall a little higher so hurt doesn’t happen next time.
When we do this we find ourselves living on one end of the spectrum where we are reluctant to let people in and we are closed off and feel alone even when we have people surrounding us. This side of the spectrum is not fun to live in, but it beats the other end where we are open, allow people in, and get burned and hurt. Let’s be honest, living on the end where we are in control of if people hurt us makes more sense.
What about the middle though? What about all of the area between the spectrum? How do you get to where you allow people in for a felt sense of connection and realness without the overwhelming amount of pain? Finding this middle ground does not guarantee that we will never feel pain, but it will guarantee that we will have the ability to foster connection and real relationships that are authentic and real.
Counseling and Growth
In counseling, this is exactly what counselors ask to you do. Open up and show me the depths of your soul and trust that I am going to hold that sacred in a loving and compassionate place. Terrifying! It goes against everything we have ever been taught and probably experienced the majority of our lives. Counseling give you the opportunity to learn how to be vulnerable in a safe and compassionate place. A place where you can be vulnerable, be truly seen, and still be accepted and loved for being you.
Counseling is a place for growth and in order to get to growth we have to be vulnerable. Counseling is a courageous act on your part. You willingly choose to show up, be vulnerable, look at the not-so-perfect parts of yourself-face them, and actively choose to grow outside of the office. C-O-U-R-A-G-E. You can’t participate in vulnerability without having courage, and you can’t continue without that true heart-felt connection sitting across from you.
Counseling offers the opportunity for you to explore the way you love, respect, talk to, and treat yourself. If you are wanting confidence in knowing who you are and how you interact in your relationships, I can help you find your path and your values, beliefs, and the other pieces of your life that define the core sense of who you are. Exploring our past relationships, family systems, beliefs, and experiences lead the way to becoming the author of our story. When we are able to own our story, we are then able to find that middle ground in learning to allow the right people in, recognizing and being aware of who those people are, and protecting our hearts in a way that still allows for true connection.
Ultimately, choosing to accept that the power of growth and change are in your hands is the most courageous choice we can make in this life. It allows you to own your story, take your circumstances and make them something that can push you to a greater version you.